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1/18/2017 2 Comments

Personal Development

The process and challenges associated with accomplishing goals involve a level of personal development and introspection. Introspection involves overcoming your nature to step outside your comfort zone and take risks with potential rewards that will forever change your life.  Our belief systems are often the cause of the results in our life.  If we have an association that money only comes to people with a certain level of education, then we’ll never have money without that education. Given this level of consciousness, how do we change our belief systems to empower us and improve our lives?  How do we change our behavior or the situations around us?  Remember, the only thing you have control over is yourself; create the possibility to have everything.  What would that look like?  How would that negate the belief system instilled in you?  Are you willing to look within, do some work and change yourself and the outcomes in your life?  If so, you must start by doing some self reflection and having the willingness to be aware and make changes.  Here is a step by step process:

1.    Identify what is hard... What pushes your buttons?  When do you feel immediately reactive or defensive?

2.    Acknowledge that this situation is placed in your life for a reason, to help you develop and be the best individual you were destined to be in this lifetime.  This situational test is to help you realize that there’s something you need to learn to help yourself grow and develop.

3.    Identify your reaction… Do you feel like lashing out?  Are you upset, hurt, mad, angry, frustrated, or do you feel helpless?  Why are you experiencing this?  Would others react this way?  Are you taking it personally?  What are your assumptions as it pertains to the situation?

4.    Restrict. This might be very difficult but you must stop yourself from reacting and allow the process to happen and reflect on what went wrong.  How did this situation arise?  Don’t take things for granted; appreciate the opportunity to change through this experience.  This is an opportunity to learn from your own experiences, change your reactions and become a better person.  What is your blockage?

5.    Deal with the situation differently and change your consciousness!  Stretch yourself by changing the results.  Be aware of your reactive nature and what is causing this reaction within you. From this point forward, appreciate this learning experience and be prepared in the future to handle things differently.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing but expecting different results.  In order to change the results in your life, changing your actions, reactions and routine are the only ways to successfully influence the outside factors that influence your happiness and sense of fulfillment.  So start by looking within and being aware of how you view and handle situations in your life.

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5/2/2016 0 Comments

Personal Legacy

We often live our lives day by day, not planning for the future or considering the after affections of our decisions and choices. What motivates us to make a positive impact on the world?  What will it take for us to look at the big picture of our lives and transform short-term decisions to long-term results? The true question is, what legacy would you like to leave behind?  How would you like to be remembered and are you on the path to achieving that? 

Let’s first uncover the challenges people face in creating a life purpose or goal. This could include the changes we make as we grow up. As we get older and wiser, our views and priorities change.  The career we once thought was perfect for us, is now a nightmare and rediscovery or re-educating ourselves to a new career is necessary.  Then family priorities change.  At one time we thought we’d get married by a certain age and then have kids by a certain age, and then suddenly we find ourselves single (no kids or spouse in sight) when we had already planned to be done having kids.  So, these variances between our plan and reality kick in. What now?  How much control do we really have? 

There’s no guarantee in life that everything will work out your way.  On the contrary, life will always challenge you and it’s your job to overcome and achieve.  So, in the big scheme of things, how do we create the legacy desired with all the unexpected variables?  Well, what do you have control over?  Starting out easy is the only way to put things into perspective and gain a hold of life.  If you want to be remembered as a generous person, when was the last time you helped a friend or gave to a cause?  If you want to be remembered as honest, have you lied or mislead anyone lately?  If you want to be remembered as an entrepreneur who employed 100’s of people, what is your big business idea and what’s the plan of attack to help get you there? 

Bottom line, we can live life day by day, make decisions for the moment, and not consider the repercussion of our actions.  However, before we know it, 20 or 30 years will go by and we’ll ask, “Where did the time go?”  Why put yourself in that position?  How rewarding would it be to create a legacy, know how you want to be remembered, and start living that life today?!?

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4/9/2014 0 Comments

Enjoy the Journey

Are you living a completely fulfilling life? Do you wonder why you’re exhausted yet haven’t accomplished much? Do you prioritize others before yourself? Often in life we become distracted by our “schedule” and daily responsibilities.  Although this is a means of getting things done, have you ever stopped to think about the end result of this non-stop go, go, go lifestyle? What about you? Have you rewarded yourself for the things you’ve accomplished or are you even enjoying life?  This month, let’s focus a bit more on ourselves so we can stay sane, rejuvenated, and enjoy our existence and the miracles that are rewarded to us on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis.  How? Well here are a few suggestions:

Keep a journal which includes your thoughts, intuitions, desires, feelings, daydreams, fears, and what you’re grateful for.  In order to figure out what’s missing in your life, you’ll need to connect to your core knowledge, wisdom, and experience.  With this clarity, your values, needs, and desires will become apparent.

Create an “Unconditional Yes List” of your top five priorities that need focus and attention within the next three to six months. Unlike goals and dreams, the first place to focus your time and energy when building a strong foundation is on those things that need your attention now. This could include relationships you’ve been neglecting or a financial burden/debt. Take one hour of personal time this week to cozy up and ask yourself two questions:

What needs my attention at this time in my life?

What do I need to let go of?

Make sure to prioritize the top five and focus on those for the next three to six months and keep the list accessible. You can create 3x5 index cards and post in several places throughout your home to keep this list top of mind.

Eliminate energy drains that affect you physically and emotionally. These drains could include projects that no longer hold your interest, holding on to something in the home or office that represents a difficult time in your life, dealing with a sick or aging individual alone, or making a commitment to a friend that you regret. Scan your environment for five and schedule time to handle these things. Be sure to get support for those you no longer wish to handle.

Finally, reward  yourself once these tasks are accomplished.
Life can be short and challenging so why not enjoy the journey? Have Fun!!! Two times per week, prioritize “fun.”  Make a list of things you enjoy doing, and make sure to schedule them into your week. Do you like ice cream, animals (visit a petting zoo or pet store), the beach, gym, or just taking a relaxing bubble bath?  Whatever the activity, make sure you are having fun and taking time out a minimum of two times per week. This does not include working, even if you love your job; this must be an activity that doesn’t have expectations of you. Enjoy!!!

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1/25/2013 0 Comments

Self Esteem

High self esteem allows for healthy relationships, effective communication, personal and professional growth (due to the high value placed on development and belief in one’s self), and positive societal behavior (treating others with respect). What happens when an individual has low self esteem? How does it manifest and appear to the outside world? Often the lack of self worth manifests as a doormat where the person allows themselves to be taken advantage of and never taking a stand. Others are constantly involved in conflict because they feel attacked and need to protect themselves, therefore appearing very defensive. Another possibility is having a very high ego to counteract the lack of self worth which manifests as arrogance or over confidence. Are there benefits in having a low self image? Although it’s clear that having high self esteem allows individuals to further in their careers and personal lives more efficiently, challenges arise(including recession and unemployment) which immediately contribute to changes in self image. Here are some suggestions on how to work through what’s blocking you, followed by ways to focus on your strengths to help overcome these obstacles.

Need to:
1.    Understand exactly why you’re feeling low, where did it come from? What specifically is getting you down?
2.    When things don't go your way, don’t automatically label the situation as negative. Ask the question: What is the positive in this? What lesson can I learn from this experience?
3.    Understand the harm that’s being caused from the destructive feelings… Create a support system to share your concerns and then map out the potential solutions.
4.    Find effective ways to be aware of these negative situations in the future, see the lesson and create a plan of action.

8 tips to build your self esteem:
1. What makes you feel proud? What are your achievements? Write them down when you’re feeling good about yourself, when you’ve just finished a very productive day or when you’ve achieved a goal and feel accomplished.
2. Do a SWOT analysis- Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities (options including activities, job opportunities, contacts), Threats (people and things getting in your way of accomplishing your high self worth).
3. Associate with positive, self confident individuals, they will rub off on you and also show you the light in every dark situation.
4. Ask for feedback, be vulnerable and open to change.
5. Plan ahead. Self-confidence comes from being prepared and aware.
6. Take action. High self esteem comes from taking action and putting things into motion, just thinking about it doesn’t do anything. Break down your challenges and start working through them one step at a time.
7. Role-play and rehearse for success-  To handle conflict, confrontation, reprimanding an employee, job interview, negotiating a raise, or making a presentation, it’s so much easier once you’ve practiced it.
8. Celebrate your success and share with others.
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2/16/2012 0 Comments

Time Management

What could you accomplish if you had more time?  A friend of mine who was a college professor gave an assignment to his students, “No television for two weeks, and through journaling, I’d like to know how you’ve spent that extra time.”  The changes, results, and impact on the students were miraculous.  They spent more time reading, interacting with friends, staying active (sports and gym activities), and most importantly they were engaged in something that helped them grow. Television is just one example of how we spend our time; what happens in the office when TV isn’t a distraction?               

Often times, distractions are so common that when the day passes you by and at 5 pm, you wonder why you didn’t get anything accomplished. Do you recall learning the 80/20 rule?  This has been interpreted in many ways including, 80% of the work is completed by 20% of the people, or 80% of the revenue is brought in by 20% of the clients. Regardless of how you interpret it, let’s make the most of the 20%! Here are some suggestions to maximize your time and feel more accomplished on a daily basis: 

  1. Plan your day-Failing to plan is planning to fail so create a to-do list.  If necessary, break up your day by time blocking so you know if you’re on track.  If you have a large project due, break it up into manageable tasks.
  2. Complete a time journal-This will help you evaluate where you are spending the majority of your time and how long it takes to complete tasks.
  3. Do the toughest or most daunting thing first-Once you get the toughest task out of the way, it’ll no longer weigh you down and you’ll feel less anxiety about what’s ahead.
  4. Keep your desk clean-The typical office worker wastes two hours per day on distractions, one being the messiness of their desk.
  5. Keep email un-cluttered-Many people use email as their to-do list.  Instead, read, mark on your task list, and then file in a folder.  This way, you can prioritize based on importance and urgency within a centralized place instead of having two separate to-do lists.
  6. Have a good file system- It’s important that things are organized and filed away so they can be easily accessed when necessary.
  7. Get a speakerphone or headset-This will allow you to multitask while on the phone.
  8. Limit call times-Keep track of call times by having something else to look forward to, lunch, another call, or a project you’re looking forward to completing.  You can always call people right before their lunch or dinner time; this way you know the call can’t last more than 10 minutes because they’ll be rushed to prioritize their meal over the phone conversation.
  9. Delegate-If possible, utilize the resources around you by outsourcing work that others can complete.
  10. Time Management Matrix-Use the matrix below and sort your tasks based on importance and urgency.  If you find that tasks belong in the forth quadrant, think about eliminating them all together; there’s no need to spend your time on unimportant, non-urgent tasks.  Eventually you should be spending the majority of your time in quad 2.
Picture
When it comes to time management, ask yourself these questions to confirm you are doing the tasks that will help you feel good about how you spend your time: Why am I doing this? What is the goal? Is this the best utilization of my time?
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10/7/2011 0 Comments

Stress Management

We experience so many daily challenges and obstacles which cause stress and prevent us from living a peaceful and enjoyable life.  Given the current economy, real estate market, and high unemployment rates, stress levels seem to be at an all-time high.  Relieving stress and finding the calm and clarity to make important decisions and enjoy life to the fullest is imperative.  Since we can’t re-do what’s already done, let’s make sure to enjoy the daily journey that we create-with as little stress as possible.  Having a friend, family member, or coach could really benefit in discussing daily pressures and brainstorming solutions.  In the meantime, here are some suggestions for alleviating stress and manifesting tranquility:

1.       Live in the present!  How does living in the past and focusing on regrets help you fulfill your life’s purpose and allow you to enjoy your existence?  Learn from previous experiences by living smarter today.  When things don’t go your way, look at the benefits of being spontaneous and take yourself out of your comfort zone.

2.       Meditation can clear the mind to help you relax while yoga, tai chi, and qi gong will also provide physical exercise.

3.        Do something enjoyable on a daily basis and schedule it as though it was a required task.  This might include volunteering, time in the sun, walking outside, art, writing, crafts, or watching your favorite TV show.

4.       Workout by joining a gym or becoming part of a team (softball, volleyball, running group).  Not only will physical activity release tension, joining a group will provide motivation and a greater sense of belonging.

5.       Wind down before bedtime (minimum of 1-2 hours).  Most media sources (TV, radio, and computer) cause our mind to race which prevents us from falling asleep peacefully.  Give your body and mind some time to relax by reading a book, journaling, or organizing the activities for the following day.

6.       Have some reflection time.  Write down your concerns, what’s causing stress/fear, then brainstorm potential solutions, and also be aware of worst-case scenarios.  Then visualize the ideal situation, problems solved/eliminated, and feel yourself enjoying the rewards of your hard work!  Being able to visualize a solution is very important in relieving stress because it allows you to see and feel a resolution, which means that peace is possible and potentially around the corner.

7.       Get enough sleep, 7-8 hours at minimum will help you feel rejuvenated and prevent the little things from adding to the stress.

Regardless of the stress relieving method, finding and removing the source of the problem is ideal.  If that’s not possible, it’s beneficial to find ways to balance the negative with positive or change your perspective about the stress causer.  As mentioned earlier, having a friend, family member, or coach to share another view or perspective is valuable for promoting change and empowering you to think differently.
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11/11/2010 0 Comments

Networking

Networking has recently become a very popular-and very powerful-concept.  It can benefit individuals who are working within a sales team, as well as startups, the unemployed and those who are seeking new opportunities.  Networking is an excellent way to meet new people in both social and business contexts to achieve personal and professional goals while having fun.  There are many types of organizations and based on your intentions, finding the right one is integral in making the experience positive and valuable.  Some examples of these groups include:

1.       Strong contact networks such as BNI where you meet weekly, give updates on your business and send referrals to the members.
2.       Casual contact networks such as the chamber of commerce wherein meetings are usually held monthly and relationships are built.
3.       Service organizations such as the Rotary club or HR/PR/ Technical and other knowledge networks.
4.       Social/Business organizations which could include a singles group or a neighborhood group such as Lincoln Park Young professionals.
5.       Online networks where the event takes place without having to leave your office or home computer (Blitztime.com, for example).
“Where do I begin?” is usually the first question.  I recommend searching the following sites for groups in your area and opportunities that fit your budget and needs:
1.       Meetup.com
2.       Networkingmonkey.com
3.       Biznik.com
4.       Blitztime.com (online networking through your computer and phone)
5.       Linkedin.com
6.       Join a Yahoo! Group; BNC is excellent for Chicagoans

“How do I prepare?” is often the next question and the answer is simple:

1.       Know your intention
2.       Come prepared with an elevator pitch
3.       Bring business cards

“What happens next?” and “what is the secret?”:

1.       Share first!  Be sure to ask others about their business and their ideal client so you can follow up with a resource, tools or a referral.  If you want others to remember you and refer potential clients or business opportunities, you must be the first to give.
2.       Follow up with everyone and ask them if they’d like to meet for coffee.  This will give you an opportunity to get to know them better and understand their needs.  Then come up with a “stay in touch” process for following up periodically.

Networking is simple however there is also a science to being successful.  Be sure to look out for others and in return, others will look out for you.

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6/8/2009 2 Comments

Saving $$$

2009 is all about saving money and managing your budget. What can you do on a daily basis to cut costs yet still live the life that you’re accustomed to living?  Here are just 15 simple ways… Feel free to share additional ideas.

1. Before going grocery shopping, view the weekly sales on the Dominick’s and Jewel Web sites.  Here, you can click on the items you’d like, print out the shopping list, and save money and time in the store by having a specific list of sales items. In addition, you can print coupons from both sites and even add P&G coupons to your preferred card with Dominick’s which will then be deducted from your total purchase once you scan your card.

2. Although gas prices have slightly reduced, car repairs, parking, and the patience and time involved in driving to work can be daunting.  Begin a car pool or take public transportation. Not only will you save money, but you’ll also help the environment and have some company.

3. Each time you make a trip to the grocery store, you’re spending time and money.  Reduce the number of times you run out of by pre-planning and buying in bulk-Costco is an excellent place to stock up on paper towels, toilet paper, and meat which can be stored in the freezer.

4. Fast food and lunch spots may seem affordable, however the prices really add up; on average, you spend approximately $6-$10 on lunch each day.  Over the course of a year, this adds up to $1560-$2600. Why not pack a lunch?  Would you like to use the extra money and enjoy a family dinner out?  A great resource for those of you with children is www.kidsmealdeals.com.  Simply enter your zip code and it’ll tell you where kids eat free.

5. When was the last time you spoke with your credit card company or cable/Internet provider?  During these hard times, people are shopping the competition and looking to save money.  Because companies are familiar with this, they will offer temporary low APR’s and re-negotiate rates to keep you as a customer.  Just last month I called Comcast and lowered my $59.99/mo bill to $19.99/mo.  That’s a savings of $40/mo which only took a total of 10 minutes!  Do the same thing with your credit card companies-let them know that a better rate is offered from another company and you’re planning to transfer your balance.  

6. Do you enjoy watching movies?  Instead of paying $12 per ticket, get Blockbuster online or Netflix and enjoy 2 movies at a time for approximately the same price!

7. Now that you have re-negotiated your APR’s on credit cards, take a look at which ones offer the highest APR and PAY THEM OFF first.  Although you might have higher balances on other cards, paying off the highest interest rate first will save you money!!!

8. Avoid ATM fees by using your own bank to withdraw cash.  Also, set automatic alerts through your bank when your balance gets low. This will help you eliminate fees.

9. Repaired items are good as new! Have you ever had a great pair of boots that you love but the heel is damaged or the leather looks old?  Instead of buying a new pair that could cost $100+, have them repaired.  The cost could be as low as $15 and you’ll have the opportunity to continue wearing those great boots that you’ve loved so long without feeling the guilt of replacing them and overspending.

10. Brush your teeth after meals-it’s hard to see the direct connection but it’s less likely that you’ll continue eating if you brush your teeth after a meal.  As a result, you’ll save money on snacks.

11. Many people are paying outrageous rates on their cell phone bills… Boost Mobile has a $50 monthly unlimited plan which includes nationwide talk, text, web and walkie-talkie.  Are you currently in a contract?  Visit cellswapper.com and lease your current contracted plan to someone else.

12. Avvo.com provides free legal advice. Do you have questions about bankruptcy, dept, foreclosure, employment law, divorce or your civil rights?  Ask a lawyer in your area for free!

13. Are you paying $2 for every 411 call?  I have a solution for you.  Dial 1-800-Free411 and say “hello” to free directory assistance.  You can also access information through www.free411.com.

14. If you can’t afford to buy new clothing, shoes, and accessories then I recommend visiting www.swapstyle.com.  Here, you have the opportunity to swap your unwanted merchandise for something new and fresh to you.  Get a whole new wardrobe without spending a fortune.

15. Do you have points with your credit cards, airlines and other providers that you don’t need or use?  Visit points.com to manage your current balances, get points and miles, use them

2 Comments

4/27/2009 2 Comments

Strategies to stay focused on achieving your goals

Do you have a dream, a goal…something to achieve and work towards?  If not, what drives you to wake up in the morning? 

Having the desire to be someone, accomplish something, and leave behind a personal legacy all starts with setting personal and professional goals and setting out to achieve them.  Once that concept is understood, the question becomes: “How do I stay focused on accomplishing goals without losing sight of the purpose and not getting distracted by life’s struggles and constant changes?”  This is a very common concern and often negatively effects staying on track to achieve a goal.  Here are some suggestions:  

1.       What is the goal?  Focus on what motivated you to create this goal.  Is it a health concern, financial concern, or personal goal?  Be aware of the importance and positive changes that will occur when this goal is achieved.

2. Place a reminder around you.  Either cut out a picture of the ideal body you want, home you want to live in, or career you desire.  Whatever the goal, it’s important to see it on a consistent basis so it’s not forgotten.  Place it somewhere in your home or office where it’s visible; when you pass by the picture, visualize yourself already accomplishing that goal. Experience the feeling every time you see the picture.  In order to manifest your dreams and desires, you must believe that they can occur and see your life changed because of them.


3. Break down the goal so it’s measurable and achievable, so you can work towards it on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. Set a reminder for yourself every month to track your success. You can easily create a spreadsheet to measure how far along you are.


4. Find an accountability partner whom you’ll share your progress with. Therefore, make sure this person is aware of your short term goals in order to achieve the ultimate long term goal. This way, your accountability partner can make sure you’re on track.


5. Have a backup plan in case you fall behind.  Are you willing to accelerate things one month to make up for a previous month’s shortcomings?  If so, make sure your accountability party is aware of how to motivate you.


6. Celebrate the small successes.  If you’ve worked hard for several weeks/months or accomplished half the goal, reward yourself!


7. Make sure to have fun; create a game out of it.  Track and share your progress, struggles, etc. with your accountability partner.  Allow your partner to support you and make suggestions.


8. Make sure to remember the reason you created the goal and visualize achieving it every time you loose focus or purpose.


9. Good luck and enjoy!!!

2 Comments

1/7/2009 1 Comment

New Years Resolution

As the clock stroked midnight on New Years Eve, many of us started the year with a kiss, champagne cheers and a resolution. How will this year and the resolutions we make be different from previous years where less then 10% were actually achieved?  Do we want another year to go by without attaining our goals and desires?  What happens when we don’t feel a sense of accomplishment?  Does the time go by too quickly and then we look back thinking: “What have I done and why haven’t I accomplished anything?

Let’s start 2009 with a commitment to ourselves that this year will be different, this year will be better, and this IS the year of fulfilling promises and achievement.  Now here comes the hard part…How?  Here is my recommended step-by-step process:

1. What do you want to accomplish in the long term (by December 2009)?  Is it to make more money?  Lose weight?  Buy a house? Eliminate/reduce debt? Be realistic and honest with yourself.  Be sure not to set yourself up for failure or disappointment. Additionally, make sure that all your goals are measurable (by you and are not reliant on others to complete).  Having a goal of “feeling good” is not measurable…What does feeling good equate to?  Where does it come from and what’s the result? How does your life change when you feel good?  Use these answers to create a measurable goal.

2. Now that you have a goal to accomplish in the coming year, break it down into monthly, smaller goals.  For example, if you’d like to lose 25 lbs by December and reduce your body fat percentage, then you’ll need to get your body fat measured ASAP.  If you break down this goal, it equates to a little over 2 lbs a month.  Is this realistic?  Is it healthy?  Yes!  Make sure the goal is beneficial for you in the long term. Crash diets usually result in a sense of failure and weight gain.  So, be conscientious of your well being.

3. Now that you’ve broken down the goal, you need to answer the following questions:
   a. What will happen if you DON’T achieve this goal?
   b. How would that make you feel?
   c. What changes in your life will occur?
   d. What’s the worst thing that will happen?
   e. Why do you want to avoid that happening?
   f. What will happen if you DO achieve this goal?
   g. How would that make you feel?
   h. What positive change will occur after achieving this goal?
   i. What’s the best thing that will happen by achieving this goal?
   j. What will you do to prevent getting distracted from achieving the goal?

4. Now you know the affects of either achieving or not achieving your goal.  Do they align with your values and what’s important to you?  If so, then your next task is to find an accountability partner.  Someone to check on you each week, make sure you’re on schedule, encourage you, and challenge you to overcome the obstacles.

5. Finally, CELEBRATE!  You need to find a way to celebrate your successes, not just accomplishing the goal at the end but achieving all the small milestones along the way.  If your goal is broken down monthly and you achieve your monthly goal, what will you do to celebrate yourself?  

Although each person is different and uses a number of structures to operate their lives, this is just a general guide/tool to follow.  Having journals or creating a daily schedule also work for many individuals.  Being specific, breaking it down, knowing the value, and celebrating are ways to make it happen. Good luck and just know that you have a coach, right here, to help guide you and hold you accountable if necessary.  Enjoy 2009 and make sure to have fun!

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